How long have you been holding it?

A professor entered a psychology class in Harvard University to address them on their first day. There was pin drop silence to listen to the esteemed and learned person. He took a glass and poured water into it, only to fill it half. While the students started murmuring, guessing that he will now ask the typical “Is this glass half empty or half full” question, to their surprise he asked another question- “How heavy is this glass?”

Soon the silence was penetrated by hundreds of different answers and guesses ranging from 8 oz to 20 oz, some students were smart enough to tell the weight of water and glass separately, but to their dismay, he shrugged on all their answers and shook his head, denoting that the answer was wrong. When the students gave up, he told them “This glass is as heavy as long as I hold it. If I hold it for one minute, it will weigh nothing to me, if I hold it for one hour, my arm will start aching and if I hold it for an entire day, my arm will get numb and it will be very difficult for me to lift my arm for many days."

The professor may sound foolish for holding the glass for the whole day, but he is not alone. 

• A is worried about his financial condition and keeps thinking day and night how his family is suffering due to his inadequacy. 
• B has many reasons to be upset with her husband, given the long list of times he disappointed her in the past.
• C is going to participate in a major sports activity this year which he could not win for the past two years.
• D has a very important examination to crack tomorrow for which he worked hard for one year.
• E has been diagnosed with a permanent disease which will not be cured for his whole life.
• F is disgusted how many times he lost his opportunities at work to sycophants in his team.
• G is repenting for the life he is living presently as his first choice was another career or person.

Do these people seem to be foolish too? Probably not, because we can relate to them at some point or the other, although they are holding their glasses not for one day, but for days, months, years or may be an entire life. Problems, whether small or big can affect us, our peace, our efficiency and our stability as strongly as we allow them to. Having said that, I am not being judgemental or indifferent. These problems are definitely big and must be devastating for those who are facing it. But let us face it, is this all that you can do about them? Besides, what difference is that going to make?

To make a difference we need to let go of the glass and focus on something that would really make a difference. Holding on to it will only make you weaker and increase the pain with every passing moment. It is not so easy to let go of all the glasses we are holding with multiple hands at once, but we can approach the problems and work upon them, deciding which problem to approach and try to solve according to the  two circles.

Stephen Covey in his bestseller book- '7 Habits of Highly Effective People', talked about the two circles in life. All the problems in this world and human life are included in these circles-Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.

The circle of Concern includes all the things you are concerned about, it has no limits or boundaries and is irrespective of your situation or abilities. You can be concerned about so many things,the next satellite to be launched by India, the problems India is facing as a developing country, the whole world, your own family, and many more, including the one thing most of us are concerned about- Increasing Gold Prices :) 

Circle of Influence however includes the things you can act upon, the problems you can solve, the situations you can do something about to improve them. Taking small but firm steps towards making a change in our family, locality or society comes in this circle, building a happy life with small fragments of happy moments comes in this circle. This circle always falls inside the circle of concern and is as smaller to it as helpless and weak we assume we are. A perfectly happy, strong and Peaceful person would have both the circles coinciding, which means there is nothing he is worried about and if there is something, he has control over it. The key to a happy and prosperous life is to keep reducing the difference between both the circles. 

Life may or may not change for the following people but it will definitely be happier, peaceful and prosperous if:

• A puts all his energy into working hard and enjoying the current blessings of life, which will make him stronger and more confident.
• B lets go of the past and instead of focusing on how many times she is hurt, focuses on how many times she was loved and cared for.
• C forgets the past failures and only remembers the mistakes he should not do this time and moves ahead with confidence.
• D gives way to only the educational content and optimism into his mind and restricts the negative thoughts which could make him nervous.
• E accepts the disease as part of his life and moves on to other important ways of enjoying  life instead of wasting it on mourning.
• F, instead of grumbling, cursing and degrading his efficiency looks for other opportunities to change his presentation, recognition or if nothing works, the organisation.
• G stops heading backwards in the journey of life and makes the best of what he has.

You like it or not, this time will pass

Live it, Life is too short to hold the glass

We are generally so busy and worried about making a good, wonderful, happy, prosperous and tension free life, that we forget to live it. So the next time something gets heavier than yourself or your life, ask yourself "How long have you been holding it?"