Let go of the part..

Many of you must have heard this story in your childhood, but I am sure you will be amazed how relevant it gets when you are an adult.

Once upon a time there were six blind men who traveled and lived together. Discerning and learned, they were famous as great and wise men and they traveled from one place to another preaching and educating people. One fine day they encountered an elephant tied outside a mahout's house. While they were wondering what that creature was, the mahout's kid told them that it was an elephant and went home. The learned men knew what an elephant is but since they were blind, none of them knew how an elephant looked like. They therefore decided to feel the animal and update their knowledge.

• The first blind man touched the elephant's tail. “O what a pity!” he said. “I had heard that elephant is huge and enormous, but it is thin and flexible, like a rope! An elephant is like a rope!”
• The second man held the elephant's trunk in his hands. “You must be mistaken, it is flexible but not so thin, it is like a snake! An elephant is like a snake!”
• The third man caught hold of the elephant's leg. “What are you talking about? It is neither thin not flexible, it is strong and firm, like a tree! An elephant is like a tree!”
• The fourth man touched the elephant's tusk and said “Be careful! the elephant is hard and sharp, like a spear!”
• The fifth man touched the back of the elephant and could not find an end to it. “You all are fools! Snake, spear, tree? The elephant is like a huge wall!”
• And at last the sixth man who felt an ear of the elephant, said “No! The elephant is thin and flat, like a fan!”

All of them were right, but all of them were wrong too! Despite being wise and learned, they got stronger and more rigid on their own views and started arguing and then fighting. To show it to the other and to prove their point, they started pulling away the respective body part they had of the elephant in their grip and the poor elephant screamed in pain..

Silly people! Weren't they? This is a well known story from the Panchatantra I read when I 

was a kid. Even being a child I could not understand how anyone could be so foolish, little 

knowing that it was not wisdom or knowledge that differed in each one's case. It was their 

Paradigm! What do you see in the image below, a rabbit or a bird?

This is paradigm! The story you read is not about an elephant, it is the story of any person or situation which has been perceived, by not six fools or blind people, but by six different views for either the first time, or after a long time. So dear readers, before you judge them to be absolutely stupid people, let me tell you that they are majority of the people you share your lives with, in fact who knows you are also holding some part of the elephant in some context or the other?

Assume a new employee hired in an office, say for coding profile. 

For the immediate boss, he is the elephant's ear- feeble, amateur and needs guidance. So he should consider everything the boss says, good or bad as the final verdict, and move only in approval. 

For the subordinate, he is the trunk, flexible, but has power, so he will try to use him and manipulate him. 

For the person in the team who was already competing for the position, he is the spear-like tusk. Each one of them would be having a different point of view for the employee and attached will be their own set of expectations from him, failing which he will be in pain!

Another example, which is omnipresent and very often talked about is of a newly wed bride entering her husband's home. 

For the mother in law she is the person who will be sharing the apple of her eye and will expect her to take care of him like she did for all those years since the day he was born. The daughter in law for her is the tail, feeble and unaware, swinging here and there aimlessly and she finds it her responsibility to guide her, control her and make her as smart and efficient as she herself is. 

For the husband, his wife is the trunk, which can feed, give water, move around, protect, roll, swing and roar, as per requirement and as effortlessly as he has seen his mother doing it. The only thing he missed were the two decades that have passed from the time she entered her home as a bride, to now. 

For the sister in law she is the tusk, she will love her to be beautiful, smooth and strong, only until she gets hurt by the pointed end. 

For the brother in law she is the leg, he wants her to be strong and her brother's support and moving forward will seek the same support and strength in his wife. 

Only a man who has a wife, knows the role of a woman in a house and hence for the father in law, the bride is the back of the elephant, the wall. He would expect her to hold the whole family together and never do anything that makes it fall apart. Different people, different opinions and different expectations, failing which both the bride and the whole family will be affected.

This is the beauty of Paradigm or angle of view, unfortunately it is not so beautiful in practical life. Conflicts in office, at home or any other situation wherein views clash, can be avoided or resolved only if there is Paradigm shift. For once, stop fighting over your opinion and try to see the others'. For once keep yourself out of your body and view the situation or person again, from a different angle, from his/her perspective and you will be surprised!

No one is completely wrong nor Anyone is completely right!

When you start understanding everything, there won't be anything left to fight!

So which part is in your hands? Let go of it and try shifting your Paradigm.

When you change the way you look at Things or People, the Things or People you look at, Change!!